Back in the darkest days of the Cold War, a species of scholar-spooks were known as Kremlinologists. Their sole purpose was to decipher the paltry and inscrutable signs and omens that were emitted by the upper reaches of the communist party of the USSR. So, months of tea leaf reading would be devoted to who was standing next to whom on the May Day reviewing stand in grainy photos smuggled over the sealed border of the evil empire.

Today the equivalent is the gaggle of Towerologists who clog a gilded lobby trying to divine the shape of things to come from who arrives to ride the Trump Tower’s golden elevator for an audience with the Grand Poobah, the Wizard of Odd, the President-elect. Mitt Romney, Ben Carson, crazy SoftBank billionaire Masayoshi Son and, wait for it, Al Gore. Marx was clearly right when he said history repeats itself, first as tragedy, then as farce.

Towerologists were stunned by the Gore development. It was strange enough that after calling the generals “an embarrassment to the country” and ignorant regarding Isis that Trump should the have turned over to them the NSC, Pentagon and Homeland Security. But nothing can top Trump’s having a tete a tete with Al Gore, climate change Nobel prize winner and obvious covert agent for Beijing, since Trump has pronounced climate change a Chinese hoax.

It turns out it was Ivanka who had summoned Gore, so perhaps she is living in the 21st Century, but Trump sat in on he meeting. Possibly that was just to make sure Gore didn’t subject his daughter to any of those “Manchurian Candidate” mind tricks he read about on Breitbart.

One can only hope Gore took advantage of the opportunity to penetrate the cloud of unknowing that surrounds the Great Tweeter. Telling him about meting ice or sad polar bears probably would have no impact. Trump would just dispatch his sons with their NRA-approved weapons to put the bears out of their sweaty misery.

Here’s a possibility. Maybe Gore had the wit to suggest that rising sea levels are going to put the first floors of Trump Tower underwater and many of the developer’s signature links course in the same neighborhood as Atlantis.

Or he might have told Trump what happened in 1815 when Tambora erupted in Indonesia. According to a review of “The Pursuit of Power: Europe, 1815-1914” in the Wall Street Journal (which Trump allegedly reads if an article mention hims), the dust cloud that resulted “blotted out the sun, ruined harvests, and set off a three-year subsistence crisis” around the world.

Soon there were grain riots on the Continent and in East Anglia, not that far from Trump’s Turnberry Golf Resort, starving crowds “wielding clubs studded with iron spikes and carrying a banner inscribed with the words ‘Bread or Blood,’ trashed the houses of suspected profiteers.”

And that was just a single pip-squeak volcano compared to the coming climate change apocalypse with its war, famine, pestilence and death. The Tambora mess lasted three years. Climate change will last forever. And Trump will surely be high on the list of profiteers targeted by those without bread, millions of them, billions, all trying to sneak across the border. It’ll be Yuge

Save yourself, Mr. President-Elect. Though you’ve chosen a climate change denier to head EPA, its not too late. Listen to Ivanka, Al Gore and the wily Chinese. The business empire, and skin, you save could be your own.