All the male Wights in Wightville were feeling so blue
After eight years of Who’s Sane, who had the wrong hue.
So they welcomed a Trump run, so noisy and brash,
Because he promised them all lots of cash.
He’d close up the borders and bring back their jobs.
They ran to his rallies and acted like mobs.

Alas for the country, the Trump was a fraud.
His business was crooked, his hairstyle was odd,
His morals repulsive, his knowledge was nil.
He had no way to win unless and until
Someone came to his rescue, like shirtless Vlad Putin.
But what could Trump offer to get him to doit?
Perhaps if elected he’d give Vlad free rein—
Drop sanctions, leave Syria, give him Ukraine.

So Vlad got his hackers to steal the Dems secrets,
And got the pale Wikin to go on and leak ’em.
Meanwhile the hackers turned the internet gaudy
With crowd-maddening lies. They really were naughty.
They even used Cambridge Analytical knowledge
To win the states needed for the electoral college.
For his part Trump’s minions were paying off chicks
Who threatened to tell of his sexual tricks.

It all worked like a charm, he won the big chair,
But was clueless the minute he found himself there.
He spent all his time watching Fox and retweeting,
And friending dictators so they could have meetings
About building towers with his name on the top
And laundering money to hide from the cops.

But now that all spotlights were pointed Trump’s way,
It got a lot harder to keep bloodhounds at bay.
They sniffed out his crimes and uncovered his angles,
Some scams old-fashioned and others new fangled,
Justice obstructed, criminals pampered,
Pardons dangled, witnesses tampered,
Voters suppressed, and charities plundered.

By stealing the White House Trump may have blundered
Into a world filled with people like Mueller —
Prosecutors and panting reporters. Once life was duller.
Now Flynn, Cohen and others had started to rat.
Could Ivanka and Jared be next? No, surely not that!
Now the hunt was relentless, and he was the prey.
And so it happened that by New Year’s Day,
A whole lot of people thought Trump might soon wear
A government jumpsuit the same orange as his hair.