I’ve been away from the news briefly, and what do I return to find? A bullying tyrant atop his dynastic aerie, a vicious Queen Mother, militant ministers of the old gods, angry mobs, irascible keepers of outmoded flames, defenders of a fragile civilization faced with barbarous enemy hordes, corruption, wickedness, duplicity, violence, greed.

I know what you’re thinking: “That’s right, while you were gone the new season of ‘Game of Thrones’ began.” But that’s not what I was thinking. I like “Game of Thrones.” I hate the pot-boiling melodrama I’m describing.

The poisonous plot I returned to stars The Thane of Trumpery, Bernie the Sinister, Lady MacClinton, Speaker Ryan of House Republican and their retinues, retainers, knights, snipers, eunuchs, flacks, pollsters and attack-ad dragons, all lining up for battle.

At least in “Game of Thrones” there are occasionally characters to root for. In this dynastic struggle for the Iron Throne of Dystoperos, we seek in vain for a witty, clever, dwarf to give us hope. And where is a decent Jon Snow, alive, dead of resurrected, or a plucky Arya Stark, or even the kind-hearted Samwell Tarly? None on the horizon.

Instead, the dark drama in which we are apparently fated to live is filled with plenty of mothers of dragons, but not in a good way.

For the next six months — or four years — we are faced with nothing to look forward to but real life versions of psycho Joffrey, the Bastard of Bolton, the witchy Red Priestess, the maleficent Cersei, the menacing religious nutjob, High Sparrow, the conniving Littlefinger, and the teeming horror of the White Walkers of MSNBC and Fox News.

Help!