Crazy Like A Sleuth

Scrolling through primetime TV options, I came upon a show called “The Sinner” and read a capsule description that began “A troubled detective returns to his hometown to investigate…” and there was no need to read further.

Of course, the detective was troubled. Aren’t they all? And yet they didn’t start that way. Poe’s Dupin was a model of rationality. Detective Bucket in “Bleak House” was the precursor of legions of tough-minded street cops who have seen it all. Hercule Poirot is finicky about his appearance, but much of that can be laid to English contempt for continental fops. Miss Marple is cozy and razor sharp, but far from troubled.

You can’t help but notice who I’m leaving out. Sherlock. The archetypal troubled detective — an antisocial, supercilious, easily bored genius who treats his ennui with violin solos and a drug habit. But even if he provided the template for the majority of later sleuths, most imitated his ratiocination not his psychopathology.

Morse substituted opera and beer. Nero Wolfe was more like Sherlock’s brother Mycroft. He never stirred from his brownstone where he ate gourmet meals and tended his orchids, but that’s merely mild eccentricity, like Lord Peter Whimsey’s dilettantism. Sam Spade, Phillip Marlowe and their heir, Lew Archer, were tough guys at home on the mean streets, but no more irregular than your average cop.

Originally the minor oddities of detectives were simply window dressing by authors trying to humanize their main character since their adventures were essentially solving puzzles, and the other chess pieces in the game were stock types from central casting, as in Clue.

Now, however, the oddities of detectives have begun to elbow aside the puzzle. They are the puzzle. You now seem scarcely qualified to lift a fingerprint if you aren’t certifiable. I suppose this was inevitable when even mob bosses were seeing a shrink.

Admittedly, the British are still more inclined to keep a stiff upper lip, especially the men. Their usual problem is being too irregular to maintain a marriage, household, or children. Women detectives, however, seem to be increasingly beset by angst, loneliness, neuroses and substance abuse. Helen Mirren in “Prime Suspect” was a trailblazer for women’s equality insofar as pathology was concerned.

A turning point in the process of highlighting the detective’s disorders may have been Jimmy Stewart’s vertigo in “Vertigo,” around which the entire plot dizzily revolved. Soon you could barely investigate a crime without having a disabling flaw you bravely soldier on in spite of. The updated Sherlocks played by Jonny Lee Miller and Benedict Cumberbatch often put the ills of their character centerstage.

Monk was OCD. And detectives who are idiot savants or somewhere on the Asperger’s spectrum are now a dime a dozen, in part because of the Scandinavian series “The Bridge” which forced odd couple detectives from two countries to work together on a case. The female character lacked skills at social interaction and had a restricted range of interests but excelled at obsessive attention to a case. This was replicated by in remakes set on the Mexican-U.S. border (also called “The Bridge”) and on both sides of the Chunnel (“The Tunnel”) starring Diane Kruger and Clemence Poesy, respectively.

As long ago as 1965, Kingsley Amis was astute enough to describe the character of James Bond (books, not movies), and to identify his origin. Amis said Bond was “lonely, melancholy, of fine natural physique, which has become in some way ravaged…of a cold or cynical veneer, above all enigmatic, in possession of a sinister secret.”

This figure dates from 1818 as Childe Harold and has been popping up ever since, beginning with the Bronte sisters. He is the Byronic hero, and many detectives are his offspring. Often they are lone wolves, even if they work for an organization, though more often perhaps are private eyes. Reacher is an extreme case, in that he might easily be mistaken for a hobo since he has no fixed abode or possessions and has been know to travel by Greyhound. One, Wallander, even ends his career as a sleuth by adding a further isolating trait by becoming afflicted with dementia.

Many of these wounded figures have suffered an insupportable grief, a terrible loss, often a lost or murdered love — Gabriel Allon, James Bond, Bosch, Rebus. It clearly isn’t wise for a woman to cozy up to such a character. It is reasonable to see the weakness of these figures for drink or drugs as a means they have adopted to self-medicate their sorrow.

This is not the only way to cope. In the short-lived “Life,” starring Damian Lewis as Charlie Crews, an L.A. cop was framed and spent years in prison before emerging cleared and richly compensated for the mistake. He could live a life of luxury, but he insists on returning to duty. He is a changed man, however, having survived incarceration by embracing Zen Buddhism. This makes him as baffling to his new partner as if he had Aspergers or OCD.

Other detectives suffer from what might be called delusions of grandeur or quixotism. They imagine themselves to be pure knights righting wrongs, and not surprisingly don’t fit into the usual cop shop since they do not cut corners or settle for a tie score against the bad guys. Again, Reacher is an extreme case of this, and Travis McGee a more cheerful version. He only takes cases when he needs the dough and spots something worth crusading for. Bosch and Rebus occupy the more common middle ground. They are good cops, but sticklers for justice who keep running afoul of the suits and getting suspended for being too incorruptible.

Finally, in “Killing Eve,” we encounter a really interesting psychodynamic. Our heroine is an intelligence operative who has the usual quirks, but who becomes obsessed with similar murders that seem to point to a brilliant assassin. She identifies another women as the likely culprit and begins to develop an obsession that verges on a crush for the killer. The killer is bemused by the attention and reciprocates the feeling of fascination.

Wow! It’s a folie a deux. We’ve never seen anything like that before. Or have we? What about “The Woman,” the dominatrix, Irene Adler, Sherlock’s femme fatale? It has been said that all philosophy is just footnotes to Plato. Hemingway said all modern American literature came out of one book, “Huckleberry Finn.” And maybe we just have to admit that all detective fiction begins and ends at 221B Baker Street.

Dog Bites Man

The breaking news keeps turning out to be no news at all to anyone who’s been paying attention. So, in a shamefaced homage to Polish jokes, “Yo Mama’s So Fat” jokes and Jeff Foxworthy’s “You Might Be A Redneck If” jokes, I offer the “It’s no surprise that…” joke.

It’s no surprise that Michael Cohen turns out not to be willing to take a bullet for Donald Trump. Or serve a long stay in the Graybar Hotel. Thus,

It’s no surprise that Cohen has sprung a leak.

It’s no surprise that a tape shows Trump authorized a payment of hush money to a Playboy plaything, despite claims that he didn’t have sex with her.

It’s no surprise that Cohen says Trump knew about the infamous Trump Tower dirt-on-Hillary meeting in advance, despite Don Jr.’s claim that he never told Daddy about it, though it was Daddy who helped him write a fictional description of its purpose — enabling adoptions.

How dumb do they think we are, to suppose the toady son wouldn’t immediately share an offer of such a juicy opportunity to steal an election? Or give a hoot about adoptions?

It’s no surprise that Trump expects loyalty without returning the favor.

It’s no surprise that the Trump admnistration is saying that, since the illlegal immigration numbers have dipped slightly, separating children from their parents is a success. Of course, this can only work on families crosing the border. So it won’t be a big surprise if ICE begins to inflict some kind of gaudy pain on solo asylum seekers to improve the numbers further by sowing fear.

It’s no surprise that attacks on Cohen, Mueller, Rosenstein and a cast of thousands have been more crazed than usual. The daily appearance of new revelations regarding sexual partners, payoffs, tapes, turncoats, adverse court decisions, and looming trials surely make Trump feel the walls are closing in.

It’s no surprise that it is harder and harder for more and more Americans to take seriously cries of injured innocence from a man whose business and marital career include violations of vows, and of labor, zoning, tax, immigration, fraud, bankruptcy and other laws, not to mention collaboration with New York mobsters, Russian oligarchs, and ongoing investigations into obstruction of justice, violations of the emoluments clause, campaign finance and election laws, and aiding and abetting crimes by foreign espionage agencies.

It’s no surprise that a person whose “Make America Great Again” hats were made in China may not have objected to getting another kind of foreign assistance in winning the presidency.

It’s no surprise that, as an election looms and Trump’s tarnish worsens, freaked out Republicans are joining the president in trying to change the story, cry fake news, or smear the cops on the beat. So, an Army-McCarthy style show trial was held to discredit Peter Strzok, a move is afoot to impeach Rod Rosenstein, and demands have increased for Mueller to bring the investigations to a speedy end.

It’s no surprise that partisan defenders of Trump are so afraid of the damage that will be done to them and their party if the truth about Trump comes out that they are forgetting an important lesson of the Nixon era. Covering up crimes sent more people to jail than those who committed them, and tarnished the enablers forever.

It’s no surprise that a story that outdoes the purple prose of any dimestore thriller or the pot-boiling of the most lurid Hollywood fever dream has legs.

The press, the politicians and the people are never going to be able to resist or lose their appetite for illicit sex, dirty money, covert Russian attacks on America, and a cast of rich crooks, undercover operatives, shadowy cyber criminals, major corporations, media moguls, dragon ladies, femme fatales, and in the starring role a person for whom the old movie moniker might have been invented — The Man You Love To Hate.

All of which means, it’s no surprise that a man who lived by division, greed, betrayal, insult, misogyny, racism, careless cruelty, lies and deceit, macho boasts, fraud, disloyalty, mismanagement and passing the buck should find that when he needs friends more than ever they should be in short supply

It’s no surprise that those who want to live to fight another day are drifting away. The Koch network has repudiated large parts of the Trump agenda and will not necessarily back his more extreme acolytes in the midterms.

And, in a result that may actually be a surprise and breaking news, polls in the some of the swing states that provided Trump’s margin of victory in — Michigan, Wisconsin, and others, are beginning to show that only a fraction of those who voted for Trump in 2016 think he deserves another term.

It will be no surprise if Trump begins to froth at the mouth and bay at the moon when he hears that.

Back Through The Looking Glass

Trump’s worst nightmare may be coming true. The charm of Wonderland has worn off.
He ran as a populist paladin who was so smart he could outwit the arrogant elites and return power to the aggrieved people whose prejudices and misinformation he shared. It turns out the rigged game is just another name for reality, and the smart guys knew things he can’t figure out.

In short, being an arrogant, unqualified, bully who inherited money doesn’t get you in the game except as the patsy. Trump believed it would be easy to fix health care, but it turned out to be hard. It would be childishly simple to fix immigration, but terrorizing toddlers turns out to turn the stomachs of a nation of immigrants. Working with Congress to patiently craft compromises is far beyond his ability.

Corrupt lackeys like Scott Pruitt didn’t seem like they were draining the swamp but feathering their own nests. And now a federal judge thinks the emoluments clause may not allow him to profit from his office so flagrantly.

Allowing criminal enterprises to pollute the air and water is also less popular than he thought it would be. California is fighting against getting its smog back and Detroit has retooled to make clean cars and trucks and doesn’t want to backslide since their global customers aren’t in the market for filthy products.

Trump thought he could bluster our NATO allies into picking up more of the tab for defending the West, or failing that ditch our responsibilities and go it alone, even though our leadership made us rich by assuring market and political stability. Turns out a fragmenting or less democratic Europe is not to our advantage, and risks driving Europe into the arms of Russia or China for trading partners.

Trump promised he could get Kim Jong Un to disarm, and declared victory on the strength of a promise, but Kim still has his nukes. He said China is eating our lunch on trade, but his voters depend on cheap imports to maintain their lifestyle. He was going to be pals with Putin, but the dictator smirks while Trump undermines the world order that kept Putin in his place and is investigated for benefiting from Putin cyber attacks on our elections.

As if has become clear that Trump is in over his head, he has begun to get more pushback, and has had to back down. After his groveling before his master in Helsinki, Trump doubled down by scheduling another meeting in Washington for the fall with Putin. His own foreign policy team was blindsided and his party aghast.

Leaders of the House and Senate rushed to the White House to insist a Rose Garden photo op with Putin a week or two before the Midterms would be poison, and Trump ignominiously capitulated. The Putin meeting has been postponed.

One of Trump’s articles of faith is that a trade deficit means we are being cheated, even though it really means his voters like buying products they want for a price they can afford. So, to teach our global trading partners, or in Trumpspeak our foes, who’s boss, he slapped tariffs on Canada, Mexican, the EU, China et al. Surely that would drive them to the negotiating table where the Dealmaker-In-Chief would win, win, win.

But he lost. Raising tariffs on aluminum and steel translated into a tax on everything manufactured that uses those commodities. So prices are rising and American workers find themselves uncompetitive. Undeterred, he threatened to impose more tariffs on more goods, like all imported autos and anything made in China. But while he fiddles, China is plotting to expand its reach and fill the vacuum of global leadership left by America’s abdication

Targeted countries fired back, raising tariffs on American motorcycles, bourbon and farm products. Soon, from Nebraska and Iowa to South Carolina farmers and auto workers who fueled Trump’s election were feeling the squeeze and screaming bloody murder. Trump’s reaction was not to say he’d learned that capitalist global trade is complicated or that sovereign nations are less amenable to bullying than New York zoning commissions.

Rather, he came up with a lunatic fix, proposing to spend $12 billion in taxpayer money on welfare for farmers beggared by the trade war he started. Republicans who still subscribe to their bedrock distaste for government meddling in markets or picking winners and losers were furious. Trump said they only needed to be patient. His toughness would soon repeal the laws of economic reality.

But apparently even he didn’t believe it. He was soon meeting with the head of the EU and agreeing to discuss an end to the tariff tit for tat, all the while claiming his crawl back from the ledge was a victory. Few were deceived. Trump’s base seems to have begun to notice that the Emperor has no clothes.

He isn’t a populist, but another self-serving swamp dweller. He really doesn’t know how the rigged game works since he keeps being outwitted. The fictions he believe to be true don’t actually describe the world we live in. He is all talk and misguided actions. And his bluster and egomania cut no ice with the hard-eyed technocrats, unsentimental markets, ruthless adversaries, stone-cold judges, and reality-based media he finds himself up against.

His recent address to a VFW convention in Kansas City was so poorly attended his handlers had to downsize the venue, and Trump was reduced to the Orwellian expedient of begging a roomful of vets, who know first hand how poorly he’s handled the disarray at the Veterans Affairs department, not to abandon ship.

“Stick with us,” he said. “Don’t believe the crap you see from these people, the fake news. What you’re seeing and what your’e reading is not what’s happening.” We’re truly through the looking glass if that’s the best the President of the United States can offer.

But if Alice could realize the Hatter was Mad, we can see fictions of the President nicknamed Agent Orange for what they are. Farmers know the drop in the price of soybeans is real. Manufacturing workers know the rising cost of tariffs on materials is real.

We all know the rising cost of healthcare and prescription drugs is real, the Russian attack on our democratic elections is real, the EU being forced into the arms of our competitors is real. Realest of all is the Mueller investigation, the legal troubles facing the president, the damage to his brand, and the falling poll numbers in swing states.