Ms. Kettle, Mr. Pot. Pot, Kettle.

The wolf pack is nipping at Hillary Clinton’s heels for the unseemliness of being at the intersection of money and government. There’s no denying she and Bill have cashed in on their joint celebrity via speaking fees, nor that large donations to the family’s charitable enterprise took place at a time when she had the power to influence policy in ways favorable to the donors.

However, no evidence yet that a quid was provided for a quo. Conspiracy fans claim that’s because she erased the evidence on her private email server. At the least, the Clintons are culpable of surprisingly loosey-goosey behavior and a failure of imagination, given the fact that they’ve been under attack for ethical lapses, real and imagined, for decades. You’d think two Ivy League lawyers would take pains to be cleaner than a whistle in appearance and reality. But probably what they learned in law school was how to get away with things.

That said, their attackers might want to tread a little more lightly. Let he who is without conflicts of interest cast the first aspersion. If this brouhaha draws attention to anything, it is that Washington is awash in cash. Does anyone really believe all those Republican billionaires mail in their checks out of love and affection? Or do they want something?

It appears, in most cases, they want plenty. The donors want to rub up against power. They seek an entrée to circles where things are decided. A former president may not be able to act, but he surely has a useful rolodex he can employ on behalf of a friend in need. Pols are always saying, as the Godfather might, “I know a guy. Let me make a call.”

It appears that most of the Clinton fund-raising was for their do-gooder charity, for Hillary’s run for the roses and to provide for a pleasant retirement so that, like Scarlet, she’ll never be hungry again. They are far from alone. Bump into a Washington politician and, like a piñata, tales of filthy lucre inevitably come spilling out. Friends of George W. Bush turned him from a party boy, ne’er-do well into an oil man who made millions from a failing business and then a baseball team owner who invested $600,000 ($500,000 of it borrowed) and walked away with a cool $15 million, largely based on the value of a stadium built with taxpayer dollars.

This sort of alchemy is unavailable to ordinary mortals, but it is commonplace among the political class. Friends of Reagan funded his switch from TV has-been to national candidate in part by a deal whereby a ranch worth $65,000 was marked up to $2 million back when that was real money. They even got him a tax break for this lucrative sleight of hand.

Being an ex-president is a gold mine. Clinton has earned $89 million in speaking fees, averaging $189,000 per. Reagan went from the presidency to Japan where a large manufacturer gave him $2 million for two speeches. He may have been “the great communicator,” but no one is that great. George W. Bush has made $15 million for 140 speeches, or about $100,000 each. His father, George H.W., has also made millions and neither Bush has ever been noted for their eloquence. One source gets closer to the truth when it says the senior Bush also acted as a rainmaker for investors in the Middle East. In short, he knew a guy. Probably one of those Saudi princes he used to hold hands with.

John McCain, who to his credit fought a losing battle to clean up campaign contributions, told the truth when he called the practice of dialing for dollars “an elaborate influence-peddling scheme by which both parties conspire to stay in office by selling the country to the highest bidder.” Only a fool would imagine billionaires named Koch, Adelson, and Soros want nothing for the something they give. They have an agenda or they’d be on a beach, not hanging around with hungry pols.

McCain could afford to be candid due to his good fortune in marrying a beer heiress. And he is not alone. Other members of Congress are the spouses of heirs to real estate, media, private equity, nursing home, consumer brand fortunes. Or they themselves come from money – self-made or inherited — oil money, auto money, a forklift company, and so on. They may not have to do favors for the campaign money they grub, but they are surely cognizant of the impact of legislation on the family fortune and vote accordingly. In this case, they don’t have to know a guy. They are the guy.

When a great movie about money and power ends with our hero defeated by byzantine maneuvers he can’t combat or even fully fathom, he is told, “Forget it, Jake; it’s Chinatown.” Voters hoping for a responsive, honest government might as well be told, “Forget it, suckers; it’s Washington.” A doctor who sits on a CDC panel that approves vaccines votes to mandate that all doctors prescribe one he has an interest in. He pockets a cool $100 million. A congressman with a defense contractor in his district sits on the committee that lets a big contract with that firm. His stock soars.

A voter might reasonably ask himself if a presidential candidate will act in his best interests. But realistically, all he can do is try to figure out whose interest the candidate is actually representing – Koch Industries, the Venetian Casino, Goldman Sachs, the NEA, the SEIU, the Clinton Global Initiative. As McCain said, the government is being sold to the highest bidder every four years. And that isn’t you.

Comments are closed.